Archive for January, 2010

BILL GATES AND GM!

January 27th, 2010

For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on.

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX),Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated,

‘If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.’

In response to Bill’s comments, General Motors issued a press release stating:

If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics (and I just love this part ):

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash……..
Twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive – but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation’ warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask ‘Are you sure?’ before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You’d have to press the ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off.

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Wacky Wednesday Headlines

January 26th, 2010

Japanese Free Kick Machine ‘Can Beat Ronaldo’

The world’s first engine-driven “free kick” machine has been unveiled in Japan. [Read More]

Dozens Fall Ill In Holy Water Health Scare

More than 100 Russian Orthodox believers have been hospitalised after drinking holy water in Irkutsk, Siberia. [Read More]

Picture Imperfect: Woman Trips Onto Picasso

A clumsy art lover has damaged a rare Picasso painting after losing her balance and tripping onto the masterpiece. [Read More]

Dutch Violin Star Enjoys Surprise UK Success

He’s bigger than Coldplay and Britney Spears, and now finally Dutch violin star Andre Rieu has waltzed his way to success on these shores. [Read More]

Judge: Shaik would stay free

If the medical parole policy was changed it would have no bearing on prisoners such as Schabir Shaik who were granted parole prior to its enactment, Judge Siraj Desai says. [Read More]

Mthethwa: We’ll make thugs run

Police Minister Nathi Mthethwa has sought to allay fears about crime during the world cup saying “there is nothing friendly between the police and criminals”. [Read More]

Girl, 10, raped, then hanged

A ten-year-old girl was raped twice and hanged during a robbery at her home, the KwaZulu-Natal High Court has heard. Her mother was also murdered. [Read More]

Union backs Winnie

The Creative Workers Union of South Africa, which represents people in music and the performing arts, has leapt to the defence of Winnie Madikizela-Mandela. [Read More]

Oprah top TV personality

Oprah Winfrey has regained her throne as America’s favourite TV personality in 2009. [Read More]

NZ not pursuing Arthur

NZ Cricket has dismissed reports linking former SA coach Mickey Arthur with NZ’s vacant national coaching position as baseless. [Read More]

Private security for NZ at SWC

New Zealand has hired a private security firm to guard its players during this year’s Soccer World Cup in South Africa. [Read More]

Baby boomers hearing better

Sweet news for baby boomers: Their generation appears to have better hearing than their parents did, despite all those warnings about loud rock music. [Read More]

UN defends climate change

The UN climate panel has rejected a newspaper report that raised doubts about the evidence linking global warming and natural disasters. [Read More]

Baidu not an MP3 pirate

A Chinese court has ruled in favour of the nation’s top search engine Baidu, saying its links to music downloads do not constitute piracy. [Read More]

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Tequila Tuesday Headlines

January 26th, 2010

Heavy rains flood Joburg roads

Traffic authorities have warned motorists that several roads east of Johannesburg are flooded due to heavy rains that caused Benoni lake to overflow. [Read More]

Saps mum on cost of cop party

Saps might wait until after the police day celebrations before disclosing how much was spent on it. [Read More]

Teen raped, tortured to death

A Free State teenager has been raped, tortured and left for dead in a small stream – allegedly by her friends, say police. [Read More]

Better Off Red?

Hayden Panettiere just dyed her famously blond hair auburn. From Scarlett Johansson to Jessica Alba to Lucille Ball, VIEW OUR GALLERY of stars who headed red.
Click Image to View Our Gallery of Redheads

Plus: Check out more of the latest… [Read More]

Red-Carpet Royalty

At last night’s SAG Awards, Tina Fey scored for 30 Rock and Sandra Bullock took home yet another trophy for The Blind Side. VIEW OUR GALLERY of the best and worst dressed.
Saturday night’s Screen Actors Guild awards looked very similar to the Golden… [Read More]

Benni heading for the Hammers?

Benni McCarthy could be on his way from Blackburn to West Ham after his club confirmed on Monday they’d received a written offer for the striker. [Read More]

Air NZ to offer economy class ‘beds’ on long haul flights

Longing for a lie-down, long-haul? Air New Zealand will offer flat beds to economy class passengers on some flights later this year. [Read More]

Search for bodies, black boxes in Lebanon plane crash

Rescuers on Tuesday continued the search for victims of the Ethiopian airliner crash off the coast of Lebanon and sought to recover the black boxes. [Read More]

History beckons for Zheng in Melbourne

Trailblazing Chinese tennis player Zheng Jie will have to defeat one of her idols if she is to create even more history at the Australian Open. [Read More]

Cantona on stage, under rubble

Manchester United legend Eric Cantona makes his theatre debut this week as a dying man trapped in rubble. [Read More]

New Oliver Stone documentary

Adolf Hitler was a psychopath and a monster but his rise to power was enabled by Western bankers, Hollywood filmmaker Oliver Stone has said. [Read More]

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Manic Monday Headlines

January 24th, 2010

2 kids die at school camp

Only moments after being photographed in a river pool, two schoolgirls drowned as their teacher turned to photograph other pupils. [Read More]

Penalty shoot-out, vuvuzelas usher in launch of stadium

Cape Town Stadium came alive with vuvuzelas yesterday as it was officially opened to 20 000 fans in an event hailed as a resounding success. [Read More]

Southern Cape fires under control

At least six fires broke out in mountain and wilderness areas across the Southern Cape last week but by noon yesterday several fires had been extinguished and others were contained. [Read More]

Bill Gates Rocks Out At Sundance

Hollywood stars aren’t the only ones enjoying the festivities at Sundance.

A source on the scene told Access Hollywood that billionaire Microsoft founder Bill Gates was rocking out at John Legend and the Roots’ performances at the Bing Lounge in Park City, Utah, on Saturday night.
[Read More]

Adam Lambert On Going International: ‘I’ll Be As Touristy As Humanly Possible’

Adam Lambert may be an “American Idol” runner-up, but the singer is ready to branch out internationally.

“I want to go to France,” he told AccessHollywood.com’s Laura “Dish of Salt” Saltman at the Screen Actors Guild Awards red carpet at the Shrine Auditorium in LA on Saturday night. “I want to see Paris, I’ve never been.”
[Read More]

Angelina Jolie was so jealous of Jennifer Aniston: So will Brad Pitt go back to his ex?


The Brangelina story has fascinated the world ever since Brad left Jennifer Aniston six years ago to be with Angelina, his co-star in Mr And Mrs Smith. [Read More]

Coney Island High

Last night at the Box, burlesque beauties were out and downtown hipsters were in when Sophomore’s Chrissie Miller screened a new short film by her friend and frequent collaborator Cass Bird (for a teaser, click here). Shot on the Coney Island boardwalk, the movie is a cool-kid confessional-cum-lookbook, with Leo Fitzpatrick reminiscing about his “childhood of capers,” Virgins frontman Donald Cummings cussing left and right, and long-legged ladies modeling Miller’s signature denim cutoffs and tank tops.

“I’ve shot Chrissie’s lookbook for a few years now, but we wanted to do something bigger and better,” Bird said at the party, which drew pretty types like Vanessa Traina, Jessica Stam, Jen Brill, and Shoshanna Gruss. Miller, who has always prided herself on being one of the queens of the downtown scene, was quite pleased with the project. “I’m done with street cred. I’m ready to sell out, baby!” she laughed. “Look! I basically made an art house Jersey Shore!”
—Derek Blasberg [Read More]

Borrowing From Your Boyfriend: Anastasia Barbieri’s Tailored Menswear Look

[Read More]

Life Under the Big Top

It was hello, goodbye at the CFDA’s pre-fashion week cocktail party last night at Diane von Furstenberg’s headquarters in the Meatpacking District. A laundry list of New York’s top designers turned out to celebrate next September’s migration of runway central to Lincoln Center and to bid adieu, as many of them prepare to show there for the last time, to Bryant Park.

According to von Furstenberg, the city forced the change of venue. “They didn’t want us anymore, so we found a better place,” she shrugged. “The only way to deal with rejection is by shining.” Key to that process will be Lincoln Center’s new fashion director, Stephanie Winston Wolkoff, who got an official welcome midway through the evening. Most of the room seemed happy to have her bringing New York’s high-culture center into the fashion fold, and vice versa. “I think it’s going to elevate fashion week by having it there,” posited Vena Cava’s Lisa Mayock. (”What she said,” echoed her partner, Sophie Buhai.) Speaking of artistic synergy, Tory Burch revealed that her new, Picasso-inspired collection is “a lot about painting—the artistry of it, the colors.”

Despite all the giddy talk about world-class opera and ballet stages, the tents are actually moving to Damrosch Park, which—news flash—is known as Lincoln Center’s circus venue. “Totally appropriate,” von Furstenberg quipped. According to the CFDA’s Steven Kolb, a multicolored pavilion with sawdust floors isn’t necessarily out of the question. “Anything’s possible,” he said.
—Darrell Hartman [Read More]

Engineers ‘can learn from slime’

The way fungus-like slime moulds grow could help engineers design computer and communication networks, say researchers. [Read More]

Motorola in Blackberry complaint

Motorola has asked US regulators to stop Blackberry owners, Research in Motion, from sales in the US. [Read More]

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Adidas – Star Wars ad

January 22nd, 2010

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Bad Romance – Lady Gaga

January 22nd, 2010

Is it just me or is this video the most erotic music videos you have ever seen? Wasn’t sure if Lady” Gaga was a lady after all, but I think this video sorts that out!

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Funky Friday Headlines

January 22nd, 2010

1 000 cops for stadium rehearsal

A THOUSAND police officers will be deployed inside and around Cape Town Stadium on Saturday for the first dress rehearsal before the World Cup.[Read More]

Killer cop’s chilling threat

TWO DAYS before he murdered her daughter, Zamumzi “Zola” Nombewu, a 35-year-old Cape Town police sergeant, phoned Mavis Sokutu to tell her: “You will hear about your daughter’s death soon.”[Read More]

Howard linked to ICC top job

Former Australian Prime Minister John Howard is in the running to take charge of international cricket, according to reports.[Read More]

‘We can’t make any changes now’

Bafana Bafana coach Carlos Albert Parreira was left eating humble pie after announcing there was “no way” his pre-World Cup camp in Brazil at the start of March could be postponed.[Read More]

Police release more tapes from Woods probe

A Florida highway patrol officer can be heard discussing Tiger Woods and his injuries on audio tapes released this week.[Read More]

Microsoft patches Explorer hole

Microsoft has released a patch for a hole in Internet Explorer that is thought to have been exploited by Chinese hackers.[Read More]

Dye turns fabric into a battery

A method of creating energy storage devices using a carbon nanotube “ink” has been shown to work on ordinary fabrics.[Read More]

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Tedious Thursday Headlines

January 21st, 2010

Police still hunting World Cup TV bandits

POLICE would continue to search for two alleged criminals who publicly threatened violent robberies during the forthcoming World Cup.[Read More]

Weather slows removal of cargo from bulk carrier

BAD weather conditions at sea have slowed progress with the unloading of coal from the stranded Turkish bulk carrier Seli 1 off Table View and 23 000 tons of her cargo still remained on board.[Read More]

Toilets built without walls

Residents of Makhaza section in Khayelitsha have to cover themselves with blankets each time they make trips to the toilet because they were built toilets without walls, say reports.[Read More]

Official ‘does nothing’ for 7yrs

A Free State department of education official who has been “doing nothing” for seven years, has written a letter to President Jacob Zuma to stop her forced loafing.[Read More]

7-car pile-up closes N1

The N1 South has been closed to traffic at the Allandale offramp after a seven-car pile-up, say Johannesburg metro police.[Read More]

District 9 gets 7 Bafta nominations

South African alien thriller District 9 has received seven nominations, including Best Director for the British Academy Film Awards.[Read More]

Wolf model disqualified

The winning picture of the 2009 Wildlife Photographer of the Year has been disqualified because the subject was an animal model and not a wild wolf.[Read More]

Web’s inventor unveils data site

Web founder Tim Berners-Lee unveils a UK government website that aims to make public sector data freely available.[Read More]

Microsoft releases browser patch

Microsoft has released a patch for a hole in Internet Explorer that is thought to have been exploited by Chinese hackers.[Read More]

On The Download: Sade’s ‘Soldier Of Love’

Sade! Sade! Sade!
(that’s pronounced “Shah-DAY” for those under age 25!)

The band led by the ethereal vocals of lead singer Helen “Sade” Folasade Adu, is back for their first new album in 10 years (!!!), and is about to embark on their fourth decade (!!!!!) of putting out albums.

Our review of the first single, “Soldier of Love”… after the jump!
[Read More]

‘Twilight’ Goes ‘Graphic’

The first volume in the graphic adaptation of author Stephenie Meyer’s “Twilight” series will be released on March 16, 2010, according to Yen Press.

“Twilight: The Graphic Novel” contains text from the original novel, complete with illustrations by Young Kim. It will be released for $19.99 in hardcover with a first printing of 350,000 copies.
[Read More]

Affleck, Holmes, ‘Twilight’ Stars Join Sundance

Robert Redford’s Sundance Film Festival is always aiming to discover new talent — and letting established talent try something different.
[Read More]

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Wacky Wednesday Headlines

January 20th, 2010

Students Starved Of Spotify At Oxford Uni

Oxford University has banned students from using music sharing website Spotify because it uses up too much bandwidth on the campus network. [Read More]

Tattoo Fans Bare All In The Name Of Skin Art

Hundreds of tattoo fans have gathered to see the work of dozens of international tattoo artists and share their common love of body art. [Read More]

Savage Blow For Footie Commentator Robbie

Footballer Robbie Savage was smashed full in the face by a ball at the weekend – despite being seated in a radio commentary box. [Read More]

Lycra Helps Team Sky Squeeze Into First Place

Tight-fitting suits have been credited with helping Team Sky to a winning start in their very first race. [Read More]

Runaway truck goes on rampage

Concrete fences were flattened like dominoes and a man and his car were rammed into a garage as a runaway truck went on the rampage in Helderkruin. [Read More]

Exec mayors could be history

The government plans to scrap the executive mayor system as part of an overhaul of local government in the country. [Read More]

ANC takes on fashion world

The ANC has branched out of politics and decided to venture into the world of fashion with the launch of a new leather jacket range. [Read More]

Bullock gives $1m to Haiti

Golden Globe winner Sandra Bullock has donated $1m to help the victims of the earthquake in Haiti, according to Variety. [Read More]

Emmanuelle is Most Desirable

Canadian actor Emmanuelle Chriqui has topped an annual poll of the world’s 99 most desirable women, with organisers saying her appeal has been boosted by the fact that she’s not over-exposed. [Read More]

Div to ensure top Boks rested

Provincial unions and other stakeholders will be asked for input on a rest plan that Bok coach Peter de Villiers is planning. [Read More]

Recovering Santon ups security

Former Springbok hooker Dale Santon will be appointing security guards at his house to ensure the safety of his family. [Read More]

Microsoft cuts IP storage

Microsoft Corp. has said it would shorten the time it stores internet users’ addresses from web search queries from 18 months to six months following a request from a EU data privacy panel. [Read More]

France making a buzz for bees

France is to sow nectar-bearing flowers on the sides of roads in an experiment aimed at helping the honey bee, hit by a worldwide decline. [Read More]

Google delays Nexus in China

Google has postponed the launch of its mobile phone in China, adding to the potential fallout of its dispute with Beijing over internet censorship. [Read More]

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Tittilating Tuesday Headlines

January 19th, 2010

Dad shot in front of family

A Pretoria family has been left reeling after robbers gunned down 42-year-old Kobus Snyman as they watched. [Read More]

Truck rolls down embankment

A driver has been killed after his truck left the N2 and rolled down an embankment near Kokstad, say KwaZulu-Natal paramedics. [Read More]

McBride’s doc faked papers before

The doctor who allegedly issued a medical certificate stating that former Ekurhuleni metro police chief Robert McBride was not drunk at the time of his 2006 car crash had done a similar thing in the past, the Pretoria Magistrate’s Court has heard. [Read More]

Cold Shoulders

Many stars opted for one-shouldered gowns at the Golden Globes. From Anna Kendrick’s glittering Marchesa dress to Marion Cotillard’s lacy Dior look, VIEW OUR GALLERY of A-list asymmetry.
Click the Image to View Our Gallery of Cold Shoulders

Plus:… [Read More]

This Week’s Hot Reads

This week: a moving memoir about one woman’s journey from the Soviet Union, a columnist explores new research into how our subconscious minds affect us, John Lanchester’s lucid, witty book on how the recession came about, a novel about two brothers… [Read More]

Botha recalled to Proteas Test squad

Off-spinner Johan Botha and left-arm fast bowler Lonwabo Tsotsobe were on Monday named in a 15-man South African squad for two Test matches in India. [Read More]

Gatland backs Johnson to do well for England

Wales coach Warren Gatland has said England must learn from their experience with Clive Woodward and give Martin Johnson time to develop as a coach. [Read More]

Davydenko heralds ‘new era’ in men’s tennis

Nikolay Davydenko has heralded a new era in men’s tennis, saying the Grand Slam dominance of Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal was over. [Read More]

Five fatal flaws of animal activism

From tacky nude posters to dubious concepts such as ‘happy meat’, animal rights groups are losing the fight for real change. [Read More]

Gabourey Sidibe interview for Precious

Precious, the harrowing story of an obese teenager, has uncovered a rare
diamond in its star.

[Read More]

Country muso dies at 82

Carl Smith, a country music hit maker of the 1950s and 1960s known for his dynamic voice and good looks, has died. He was 82. [Read More]

Depp backs Obama

Johnny Depp talks about his “Sexiest Man Alive” title and president Obama as he arrives at the Kuestendorf arts festival. [Read More]

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